The true test of
music is its ability to compel you to drive faster,
so my car is my testing lab. Picturing myself wired
up like some kind of docile Borg with the latest
array of geek-widgets has about as much appeal to me
as shoving my hand in a badger cage.
"Obsessio" by Wumpscut.
Sensuality shrink-wrapped. Sampled guitar fixates on
two jazz chords while a French-babbling Jane wraps
you in silk and a synth sounding like a mildly
annoyed hornet keeps you repressed.
"Free Your Hate" by KMFDM. Yes yes,
"in the days of rage." An aggro-industrial cruise
missile oopsy-daisied into the punchbowl at the
Barbara Bush benefit for Trent Lott’s New Orleans
porch. Your favorite teen couldn’t handle this.
"Fight the Power" by Public Enemy.
Why do people still bother creating rap after
Chuck D completed its entire mission in 3 minutes?
"Never Mind" by The Birthday Massacre. Resembling
a sexy Munsters, Goth posers reinvent the only
things decent about the ‘80s.
"The Ballad of GG" by Jonnee Earthquake Band. Local punk vet who would have been
bigger than Nick Cave if the grommitz was cruxing
during a full biscuit moon in 1979, so he dresses up
as a pirate nowadays as revenge on himself.
"Far From the Tree" by Stace England.
The world’s only remaining cool folkie on a tear
about a laughably corrupt, racist burg in Illinois.
"Bad Bad Brain" by The Ramones. Saw
these guys at Club Casino when the place didn’t have
all those, ah, convenient tables and chairs. Ahem.
"Who Do You Love" by George Thorogood. If
this song is ever out-cooled, cockroaches will be
wearing Adidas and hopping flights to Vegas.
"Illicit Dreams" by Noise Unit
Apocalyptic. Techno soundtrack from the
Front Line Assembly freaks intended strictly for use
by power-crazed vampires driving Maseratis.
"The Robber" by Druid. Sadly
defunct Massachusetts metal gods who were too lazy
to finish up a record deal, but the singer’s still a
totally whack guy I hear.
- Eric Saeger