The true test of music is its ability to compel you to drive faster, so my car is my testing lab. Picturing myself wired up like some kind of docile Borg with the latest array of geek-widgets has about as much appeal to me as shoving my hand in a badger cage.

Top Songs

"Obsessio" by Wumpscut.  Sensuality shrink-wrapped. Sampled guitar fixates on two jazz chords while a French-babbling Jane wraps you in silk and a synth sounding like a mildly annoyed hornet keeps you repressed.

"Free Your Hate" by KMFDM. Yes yes, "in the days of rage." An aggro-industrial cruise missile oopsy-daisied into the punchbowl at the Barbara Bush benefit for Trent Lott’s New Orleans porch. Your favorite teen couldn’t handle this.

"Fight the Power" by Public Enemy.  Why do people still bother creating rap after Chuck D completed its entire mission in 3 minutes?

"Never Mind" by The Birthday Massacre.  Resembling a sexy Munsters, Goth posers reinvent the only things decent about the ‘80s.

"The Ballad of GG" by Jonnee Earthquake Band.  Local punk vet who would have been bigger than Nick Cave if the grommitz was cruxing during a full biscuit moon in 1979, so he dresses up as a pirate nowadays as revenge on himself.

"Far From the Tree" by Stace England.  The world’s only remaining cool folkie on a tear about a laughably corrupt, racist burg in Illinois.

"Bad Bad Brain" by The Ramones.  Saw these guys at Club Casino when the place didn’t have all those, ah, convenient tables and chairs. Ahem.

"Who Do You Love" by George Thorogood.  If this song is ever out-cooled, cockroaches will be wearing Adidas and hopping flights to Vegas.

"Illicit Dreams" by Noise Unit Apocalyptic.  Techno soundtrack from the Front Line Assembly freaks intended strictly for use by power-crazed vampires driving Maseratis.

"The Robber" by Druid.  Sadly defunct Massachusetts metal gods who were too lazy to finish up a record deal, but the singer’s still a totally whack guy I hear.

 - Eric Saeger